Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership — it is arguably the single most important factor in all human interaction. People often confuse communication for talking or making conversation, and this is the root cause of why many of these same people are so unsuccessful in communicating with their partners.
Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written (eg. text messages) and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs. “Whether you’re dealing with something as simple as discussing where to have dinner or the complications of conflict, you should at all times express your honest feelings and needs, even if you think the other person won’t like what they hear!”
Talk to each other! No matter how well you know and/or love each other, you cannot read the other person’s mind. It’s always better to over communicate and to do it right away, instead of allowing frustrations to grow over time. Even in the workplace, although you may have to be more formal or diplomatic when choosing your words, frank and candid communication is absolutely key.
Whenever possible, this honesty needs to be coupled with specificity. When we speak in vague terms, communication can fail. It’s not enough to tell someone you feel unappreciated, you have to give examples of specific incidents that made you feel that way and what you would have liked to have happened instead.
A perfect example is when choosing a restaurant for dinner, communication is key, your partner needs to know what your dietary requirements are so that you can eat somewhere sensible whilst staying on track, this will mean you can enjoy your meal and not have any stress whilst enjoying your time together in a sociable environment.
2. Give and Take
‘Give and take’ is a mechanism inherent to all personal relationships — you cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn.
“I personally like to think of it as a 51/49 exchange —always be willing to give a little more than what you expect in return!”
Just as you need to be open about your thoughts and desires, you must be prepared to listen to everyone else’s as well. And if you are actually in the position to make decisions that affect both of you, make sure to take their perspective into account. Try to find areas of agreement. When in doubt, compromise. For example, if you both want to watch a movie try to find one that you both enjoy, even if it’s not the one you wanted to see the most. Or each of you picks a movie and make a marathon out of it. If you don’t have time for a marathon, start taking turns over a period of weeks. You can even get creative by discussing your priorities. If what you eat is actually more important to you than what you watch, you take care of dinner and your significant other can take care of choosing the entertainment.
Experiment and find the system that works the best for both of you. If you’re in a dieting phase having your partner on board with your journey and letting her know that you need to stick to your diet today, so tomorrow you can look how you want to tomorrow for her.
3. Manage Expectations
Every individual, every situation and every relationship is different. We are in a constant state of learning about one another and since people grow and change, the lessons never stop. The first step in finding more balance is to assume you know nothing! A new fitness journey may shake things up at the start, but again you just need to manage your partner's expectations, you will often here peoples partners say they don’t want their husband to get too big, or too ripped.
This is often an insecurity on the other person's behalf that you taking a positive step on your journey is making them feel bad, it’s a point like that this that you manage their expectations. People will never be what we want them to be in our fantasies, or what we thought they were when we first met. They might not be who you thought they were the day before. That is what makes people so beautiful. Appreciate the unknown instead of trying to control it.
Next, don’t try and make someone your everything. Your partner might be your best friend, but perhaps he/she shouldn’t be your only friend. Don’t assume your closest friend, who is also your business partner and roommate, will always be there when you need them! “Don’t expect one person to always understand you, agree with you, support you and be available to do things with you. No relationship can bare that kind of pressure!”
4. Trust Always (until you don’t)
If you’re like me, then trust should not necessarily be earned — which means everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Or, in other words, leave the baggage at the door. Whatever you think you’ve learned about relationships or human nature from past relationships can be unfair to apply to someone new. “Let your partner’s actions and words speak for themselves!”
Even if you understand what they do, don’t make the mistake of assuming you know ‘why’ they do it just because you have experienced something similar with someone else. That’s not empathy, that’s projecting!!
If you want to understand someone’s thinking or motivation, just ask them, And when you don’t like what someone does, don’t jump to conclusions and assume they were motivated by malicious intent. It could be as simple as miscommunication — perhaps their intentions were good. So ask, listen and try to understand where they are coming from.
5. Encourage One Another.
Last but not least, try to encourage and support each other. It is the foundation of any good and lasting relationship, which is in part achieved by helping each other grow both physically and mentally. Be actively interested in their goals and ambitions and they will support you with yours! You should care because it matters to them and they matter to you!
Oftentimes, your partner needs you to observe their personal growth and recognise their achievement or qualities. From telling your loved one how great they look before going out to dinner to showing your admiration for their results at work, a well-thought and honest compliment every day can make wonders in your relationship. Frequently express your respect and admiration for their talents or skills and make sure they know you want for them what they want for themselves. Constructive criticism is always allowed, but try to inspire instead of judging. Encourage each other as individuals as well as in the relationship.
Remember, an uneven relationship will topple sooner or later. If we make sure our own needs are met while simultaneously asking the other person how they feel and actively working towards their happiness, then the relationship will thrive. We’re all in this together!
To summarise, Achieving balance with training and your relationships are all about structuring your training around your lifestyle, I specialize in custom diet and training programs that fit into even the busiest of schedules, this way we can ensure you progress whilst still living your best life!